Words by Layla Blackwell & Photos by Caroline Finn
Who you are is moulded by how you see the world and vice versa.
That’s something that I’ve really come to understand this year. All my adult life I’ve been focused on what I thought I could have, versus what I want. That started at home.
With limited resources, my flat could only be adapted so far to meet my needs. So, it never really felt like my home.
It also meant that all my energy and money went into trying to improve it. I could only see out of one window in my flat and I couldn’t open any of them.
The bathroom was the biggest issue however, being a different level to the rest of the flat made it difficult for me to use. Showering took the majority of my energy and was uncomfortable.
It wasn’t a terrible flat for someone else, it just would never be good for me.
Slow Wait, Quick Move
It took me eight years to get the help needed to move.
I waited a year and a half at the top of the housing list and had almost given up. It was then I received a call from the Council housing officer asking if I’d be interested in a new build.
I immediately said yes.
From that call, it took a month to receive my offer and from that point I gave myself a month to move.
I am profoundly grateful to everyone who helped me achieve the move. It wouldn’t have been possible without you. From those who helped me physically to those who supported me emotionally. You helped make a dream come true and opened up a new and better future for me.
Where I live now has changed my life already and in lots of unexpected ways.
With my home being purpose built for a wheelchair user a lot of worry has been taken away and daily tasks are now much easier.
With a kitchen that’s designed for ME to use. I’m starting to enjoy cooking proper meals and that’s making me feel better. Turns out that it’s much easier not to burn soup when you can lower the counter to see in the pot!
Showering is easier too. With space for two wheelchairs, it cuts down on the transfers I need to do and doesn’t exhaust me.
So, I look better too. This is improving my confidence.
Home
My flat feels like a home and it’s a joy to come home to.
The main change, however, is without my home being an obstacle to my independence, I have the energy and the time to get out into the world and focus on making my new future better and brighter than I could before.
That’s a completely different challenge as the world isn’t designed to meet the needs of disabled people.
I’m already contemplating how I will face the problems that brings and how to work with others to fix what I can.
It will come with compromise, disappointment but everything is a learning experience. Life isn’t about whether you fall, it’s about how you get back up.
I have big plans for the year already and it’ll be interesting to see how things change and adapt as I go.
My life is full of opportunities that I didn’t expect to have, I am extremely grateful for that.
And on the days that I struggle, I plan out how my new garden will look and the times I’ll have with those I love.
That dream means everything to me.
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