Jamie MacLean explains how life experiences led him to set up Mentor Scotland.
Photos by Chris McCaughey & courtesy of Mentor Scotland.
Like many people in Scotland, I was brought up with little and life was chaotic.
I was brought up an only child by a single mum, she done great by me although things were very tough.
She suffered severe trauma at an early stage in her own life and carried this burden with her whilst bringing me up.
I have other siblings from my dad who I care about although we never had time with each other to form strong relationships, this is something we have gained as adults.
My father was a drug addict and he himself struggled with mental health issues from an early age until he passed away.
The relationship between him and my mother was very fractured and some memories I have of them are toxic and inharmonious, seeing them fight and my mum being seriously assaulted.
We had drug dealers at the door looking for money with weapons that would scare anybody, never mind a young child confused, scared and feeling unsafe.
I cannot thank my mum enough for removing us from that situation.
Life Moves & Changes
Life was difficult and seen us have many moves throughout my childhood, I would need to use two hands to count the number of primary schools I went to.
This theme of moving made it exceedingly difficult for me to find my place wherever we were.
It is always easier to fit in if you act out and this was an effortless way for me to be what I would perceive as being popular.
My behaviours in secondary school were less than satisfactory for myself and those around me, I was constantly disruptive and getting into situations that caused problems.
I have recently understood a little more about myself as an adult and may have the answer to that however it is too soon for me to know.
These behaviours were with me out of school as well, trying to fit in and doing anything daring to get me recognition and status in whichever group setting I was in.
After my behaviour not getting any better my mum seen that I moved away and move in with my auntie.
This was okay for awhile as I had a plan to train and join the army.
I started training to get into the Argyll & Sutherland Highlanders, seemingly all going well training and passing all my tests.
I come home on leave and went out partying and like, I decided to take ecstasy.
However, my inability to control myself meant I continued to take them until I overdosed.
This was a life-threatening overdose which left me critical in the high dependency unit in the Vale of Leven hospital.
Mental Health
On recovery my mental health plummeted.
This left me struggling with paranoia; going out at the weekends I could not stay out on a night out as I felt like everyone was looking at me or talking about me.
I would often try to drink through this and get myself in such a condition that I would be aggressive in nature.
Looking back now I see I was in a constant state of alert (fight or flight), I don’t feel like I was ever a bad person however I understand why people would avoid me.
I was always overly self-conscious of myself, and this added to how I felt about myself.
My early 20s just seemed to be average.
My group of friends and I were into a sesh (drinking alcohol and taking recreational drugs) and that’s what we done, sometimes four days a week.
I was reckless and the sesh came before anything.
Even the birth of my first beautiful daughter was not enough to slow me down, although at this time I knew there was a bit of a problem, and I was still letting people down.
Not showing for work and making other people’s life difficult.
I could not be where I am now without being open and transparent.
My actions led to me hurting the people that loved me the most.
I decided to leave my family and continue living life how I wanted to live it.
Which still wasn’t constructive for others, and I soon fell into a deep depression whilst continuing the journey where I partied hard for a few days and lay depressed for a few and dragged myself to work; this cycle continued until I could not cope any longer.
It got to a stage when I was 27 I was suicidal and the ideation of suicide ruminated in my mind over and over for longer than a year, I can only describe this feeling as a deep black rotting
pain in my gut, and in my mind countless plans of how I can kill myself.
That’s the harsh reality.
I sat in my own final resting point on many occasions sometimes loaded with recreational drugs and alcohol.
Helping Purpose
My experience of the NHS throughout this ordeal was something I feel was always non-existent.
My GP never considered me to be in danger enough to need any special help other than medication.
Thankfully this passed.
I put this down to someone persuading me to consider starting to train in a gym.
I agreed and in time I grew in confidence and even seen a difference in myself.
I slowly started to see a good person, a caring loving person that I know I am.
I am far from perfect, and I sometimes let myself down, however I’m now on a journey where I enjoy life and what it has to offer.
I also have a purpose and my purpose is to support those in our community who are suffering.
People need not suffer alone, and this is where Mentor Scotland comes in.
I have long wanted to set up something locally to help support those struggling with their mental health.
Ever since I felt better, I felt called to do something.
Realising Trauma
I worked in a children’s residential through the coronavirus pandemic and that is where I learned about trauma and understood its effects on children and adults.
If trauma is left it can affect us in so many ways.
It helped me realise my drinking habits were a trauma response which helped me mask the problems I had.
In September 2022, I created a post on social media declaring my desire to move forward and create a group to support people with mental health struggles.
This was the beginning; the response was great.
I had a grand plan and like any good plans it fell by the wayside.
However, I proceeded without any finances to support the cause and with a few chance meetings with people who wanted to get on board after seeing the social media posts, we had a team ready to go.
I must give a special mention to Men Matter who I spent a little time with volunteering and who provided us with Asist Suicide prevention training.
On Friday October 21, 2022, my second daughter was born, just as beautiful as her sister.
A week later Mentor Scotland hosted its first Men’s group in Ben View Resource Centre in Dumbarton.
We had a drop-in tea, coffee and people came along and said hello.
We had our first talking group of seven and all the seven guys who showed up left feeling better than they had coming in the door.
It was a successful night and the start of what was to come.
A Year Later
We have now celebrated our first birthday and I couldn’t be any prouder of what we are achieving.
Attendances upwards of 25 on Friday night.
We have links with the NHS in the addictions and recovery project at the Joint Hospital and we get referrals from the local GP Link workers.
We now cater for everyone over 18 and we will look to reduce this to 16 in due course.
We have our drop-in and our separate men and women’s talking groups and we are seeing people walk through the door feeling low and in a matter of weeks making strong connections and feeling comfortable enough to share what is holding them back.
We aren’t offering anything more than a safe, confidential, and non-judgemental environment for people to talk openly.
Our other activities have included football, walking group, badminton, and cold-water exposure.
We had a charity football match in the Tontine Park where we raised £1150.40 and we’re looking at our next steps to provide a more comprehensive service for the community.
We are very thankful for all the support that the group has been shown.
Let’s the game begin
Focussing on Growth
My own life continues to grow, and I become more responsible for myself with every passing day, I have found out many things about myself in the brief time that the group has been running.
I know that I hold the key to how my life is going and it is my own responsibility to move forward in a positive way.
Through the group I learned I also may have ADHD which would account for why I struggled so much in school and wasn’t able to concentrate on one thing at a time which continued into adulthood and makes my day-to-day life very difficult if I am not organised.
Thankfully, I have coping mechanisms in place to help me get through.
On that note I would say the group is there to support everyone, however we are not there to do it for you.
We are here to support you to do it yourself and to learn from each other.
We continue to meet in Ben View Resource Centre on a Friday evening for our drop-in and talking groups from 5.30pm to 10pm.
And we have just opened our second men’s talking group in Alexandria Community Centre.
We will be there every Wednesday from 6.30pm – 9.30pm and our women’s group is adding a bi-weekly drop-in at Ben View Resource Centre from 12 – 2pm.
I would personally like to let everyone in our community know it’s okay to open up, people do really care, and we are here to support you.
Our motto is ‘End the Stigma’ and that’s our aim – ending the stigma attached to mental health.
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